Can you mourn the death of a relationship you never had?

Well, I suppose mourn is the wrong word – can you mourn something that isn’t quite a death?

So, there was this guy I had been talking to for several months. He’s completely awesome and I’ve been smitten for a while. We don’t get to talk as much as we used to, part of that is due to work and a very large distance between us.

You know how girls do that whole crazy ultimatum thing? Yeah, I hate that shit. I TOTALLY don’t like to act like that and try not to. I never gave any ultimatums or acted too crazy; I DID ask if everything was okay a couple of times. Other than that, no big deal.

I still consider him to be a great person, very dear to me. But, maybe I don’t see him in the same light? I’m not sure, I just know that I want him in my life in some capacity, but it’s not a life or death thing if we’re only friends.

I think maybe he was supposed to be in my life at that exact moment because I needed him (well, someone) to talk to, flirt with and just be excited about again. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. I am a girl, afterall

Seriously, I’m fine with it. I’m not sad, mostly because I know I’m not losing anything – I’ve still got a great friend and when we can spend time together, we can, no big deal.

Am I in any position to mourn something I never had? Nah, I don’t think so. I’m okay with whatever happens – I think it served it’s purpose.

Whatever is supposed to happen, WILL happen. I have no doubts about that. Until whatever it is happens, I’ll be living my life, having fun and enjoying the people around me.